Ignorance Is Not Bliss...It's Just Embarassing

The other day youngest sister Xu was telling me that Chinese people do not sit on the floor when they eat—not at home nor at restaurants*. I felt like an idiot because that came as a big shock to me. I have always just assumed that they did because I had this (mis)conception that that was a Asian cultural practice. Youngest sister told me that only beggars sit on the floor in China, and to do so makes you look like a poor person. She also said no one sleeps on the floor unless there are no beds available (like if you have too many guests or something). Please tell me I am not the only ignoramus who did not realize that the Japanese and Korean customs of sitting and sleeping on the floor are not also Chinese.

I learned something else about China today. According to my students, Chinese movie stars (not sure about regular people; they kept saying “movie stars” but that may be because it’s so expensive) indulge in placentophagy aka the eating of human placenta. According to my sources (three Chinese girls from Fujian province), it is supposed to have many nutritional benefits. When I looked into this a little more, I stumbled on the rumor that an American movie star, namely Tom Cruise, was planning on eating Katie Holmes’ placenta from her delivery of baby Suri (he was reported to have said this by GQ magazine, but I think it was a joke(???)) and a website advocating the benefits of your baby’s placenta in capsule form. So yeah, not so much Chinese culture afterall, but who knows? Maybe it was an East to West sort of movement.

*Further research tells me that traditionally Chinese people did sit on the floor, but that hasn’t been customary since sometime during the Tang dynasty (618-907 AD) when chairs were introduced to the elite and eventually became more widely used by all classes of people.

What's Going On

I really don’t know what’s going on with me and this blog. I feel like with the infrequency with which I post, I really should give it up, but for some reason I feel like keeping it going. And yet I know that it’s barely going. Lately, it seems like all I ever blog about is school/work. Which probably means that school/work is my life. Which depresses the heck out of me.

So what’s going on with me outside of school/work? Let’s see if a recap of this weekend will give you any insight.

Saturday:
I slept in (hallelujah!) until 7:30. (On weekdays I get up at 5:00 so yeah, that’s sleeping in.) Got up, made pancakes and sat around like a lump all morning. Made lunch. Went grocery shopping. Made dinner. Watched a DVD (Bella) with my guy. Out by 9:30 p.m.

Sunday:
Slept in again. Made a lazy girl’s breakfast (aka toast). Cooked like a maniac all morning: kimchi, a huge vat of oh-ee muchim for church, eggs, spinach and carrots for kimbap. Went to church. Thought seriously about never going back to church after only two other people aside from my guy and I showed up and the pastor’s wife yelled at us that we “cannot just sit here and soak up "the Message". We need to go out and share it with others.” She then commanded us to pray out loud and repent of our sins. I told my guy later that I think she is certifiably insane and if it weren’t for our lust of Korean culture (i.e. Korean food & language), I would not go back. She’s a nut job. Went home and rolled 9 kimbap rolls (lazy girl would never do this normally, but student’s birthday was Monday. See? There’s school again.). Watched another DVD (We Own the Night). Went to bed.

So there you have it. My life seems to consist of work/school, sleeping, eating, and cooking.

Ugh. I’m so bored.

The Bribe

Okay, I know I said I loved driving H to school, but when I heard he nearly got his third warning (with the consequence of being off the bus for the rest of the school year), I felt pure panic. I knew I’d be designated driver, and that means I have to leave my house 15 minutes earlier than normal (and you should see me as it is in the morning!) every day, drive a very bad, potholey road, and rack up a lot of extra miles on my crap car which already has nearly 90,000 miles on it. I emailed the principal: "Any more thoughts on that positive behavioral reward we discussed earlier?" She’d suggested lunch at McDonald’s if he does a good job on the bus. H had scoffed at this (smart boy that he is). Let’s just say he’s no stranger to Mickey D’s. It’s like no big deal, definitely not special or enticing in any way. This principal needs to take a class in keeping it real. Seriously, she needs to get it together and get with the times. We’ve gotta stay a step ahead of the kids here, lady. Since she was fresh out of viable ideas, I decided to consort with the special educator, Mrs. R, who is a doll.

She said she’d been trying to find a bike for H. He’s never ridden one and she wanted to teach him. Our genius minds came up with a plan to use the bike as a bribe, so that H can ride it at school, BUT if he wants to take it home over the summer, he’ll have to do well on the bus. Now, you’ll remember that H is a 7-year-old with the developmental level of a 4 or 5-year-old. He can’t really see a couple of months down the road. He needs daily reminders and reinforcement. So we came up with the idea of a sticker chart. I put together a little book in the shape of a bus and made a calendar that the bus driver could put stickers on in the mornings and afternoons if H stayed in his seat and stopped lying down in the aisles. Mrs. R found a bike over spring break. She pulled me in on Monday morning for the big reveal. It’s fabulous—nearly new--shiny & red. It screams little H. She showed it to him sometime on Monday and when I worked with him on Tuesday, it was all he talked about. Miracle of miracles, he has six bus stickers so far. Fingers and toes are crossed. Please God, keep that kid in his seat on the bus for the next 6 weeks. I promise not to complain about the snow we had yesterday and today if you can just grant me that.

My New Shoes

The eldest Xu sister came home from China last week. She’s been gone since just after Christmas. She brought me back some awesome pencils. The girls were complaining to me before she left that the pencil designs in the U.S. are so boring and that Chinese pencils are so much cooler. Eldest sister said she would get some for me, and when she gave them to me, I realized that they’re very much like Korean pencils. In fact, one of them actually had some hangul on it, so they might even be imported from Korea. They have cute pictures, weird sayings, and funky erasers.

Eldest sister also brought me some shoes from China. The girls had told me that one of the new fads in China is shoes that look like flats, but have lifts on the inside which actually elevate you and make you look taller. You know, that way you look naturally tall.
Sort of reminds me of padded bras. heh heh.

My new shoes are very sparkly. A high school girl told me I was looking all gangsta. Yeah. So…check deez yo!

The Hug

I got a hug today. From a student. Not just any student. It was from…little H. Pay attention here, people. H doesn’t hug ANYONE. No, I don’t mean not just anyone. I mean ANYONE. I was floating on air. Riding on cloud 9! This was a big, running BEAR hug!!!

Ahhhhhh….Life is good.

What's Up

Oh my goodness. I’ve started way too many blog posts lately. They keep falling flat and lifeless and never making it to publish. I think I’ve got blogger’s block. Fer real.

So just to warn you—this may be a pretty boring and meaningless post. I’m really not sure yet, but if time is a precious commodity to you, you may want to consider the odds.

My guy is back from Korea. In fact, he’s back to work, too. Twelve hours. 7 to 7. Is that insane—or what? He really enjoyed his time in Korea. I could see how hard it was to be back in Frozenland, USA. This has always been the most difficult thing about being part of this intercultural couple. Geographical incompatibilities. But that’s another whole post…

On the school front, H & C’s mom is now back in “her” country. The boys are holding up remarkably well with only dad to hold down the homefront. Their dad’s a Superman in my book. H has been acting out more than usual, which is absolutely to be expected under the circumstances. He got kicked off the school bus for three days—Monday to Wednesday. Dad came in on Monday to tell the principal that he’d be keeping H home for the remaining two days of bus suspension because he nearly fell asleep and went off the road in the morning. He was coming off the night shift and trying to drive H to school. A more exhausted and worn down man I have not seen. Although I’d purposely resisted previously, I volunteered to drive H for the two remaining mornings. I explained to the principal that H would LOVE this and therefore, this (kicking him off the bus) was a terrible consequence to use if she was trying for better bus behavior. I mean, come on—what kid does not want to be personally chauffeured to school??? Particularly what child who is missing his mother like crazy and seriously lacking attention from the one remaining, utterly exhausted parent he has left is going to see this as a PUNISHMENT? The principal is daft. Or she just doesn’t care. Either way, it’s ridiculous, but I’ve gotta tell you, secretly, I LOVE driving H to school. He sits buckled in my back seat (no, he does not need my help with the seatbelt, thank you very much) and chats with me in his cutie pie way. I’m telling you, if you saw this kid you would fall head over heels. He’s too much. Today he asked about a Swiffer duster I had in my back seat. I explained that I wanted to get rid of it and was going to give it away. H said that I should try to sell it. He thinks I could get $145.00 for it. When asked what he’d do if he had $145.00, he said he’d buy a new red backpack and a hockey stick.

See what I’m saying? I kind of hope he gets kicked off the bus again, but don’t tell the principal. ;)

Home(sick) Alone

Being home alone since hubby’s been off to Korea has made me realize just how low maintenance I really am. I really don’t need to have every dish clean, every night. A few can sit in the sink. I’m okay with it. The laundry basket doesn’t fill up half as quick with only one person’s clothes in it. And I’ve got two weeks worth of underwear so yeah, I’m down with just letting the basket sit. Not washing clothes is liberating. So’s not cooking. They make healthy meals in a box nowadays. They’re even orGANic. Prep time: 5 minutes. In the microwave.

He’s having a blast. He calls me almost every day. Once, when I didn’t hear from him for a couple of days, I called his mom to see if he was at her house. She sounded pretty surprised to hear from me with my bad Korean and all. She told me he was in Jeonju and yelled at me for not coming with him. I told her I missed her. I couldn’t remember how to properly end a phone conversation so we just sat in silence for a few minutes. I heard her dogs barking in the background. I pictured her house the way I remembered it. Small and squat and surrounded by rolling fields of rice. I know things are growing there already. It won’t be long until the paddies are ablaze in the most amazing shade of green. I miss Korea.